ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS
YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING
NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED
IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
thanks for the tip karkat
SERIOUSLY THIS SHIT IS AMAZING AND IF YOU DON’T HAVE CANOLA YOU CAN USE OLIVE FUCKING BELIEVE ME AND MY FINE ASS LEGS
" your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic" I AM LAUGHING WAY TOO HARD
most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person
there’s a tool for that
I’m sorry, does that scale progress from a child to a HORSE?
OMG GET IT
IM SO HUNGRY
I’m only a little hungry so I’ll eat a child
That cat is not even playful, he is downright -concerned- about this fucking penguin aelinawhwa
CAT: ARE YOU OKAY SMALL WIBBLY ANIMAL
S-sir? Sir, what are you-
Sir, are you-
Sir, please stop.
Are you okay?
I can’t remember if I blogged this or not but oh my fucking cute.
you are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are gray
you’ll never know dear
how much i love you
please dont take
my sunshine away
this is the most beautiful post i have ever seen I’m my life
This makes me a happy Irish man
do you ever have second-hand obsessions
like one of your friends is super obsessed with a thing so whenever you see something about it you’re like “YES THIS THING” but you’re not the one obsessed with it. they are. you know very little about this thing and yet it still excites you because it excites your friend
Gracie’s in my town for one of her fashion checks and the theme is modern. This site: http://www.thonky.com/animal-crossing-new-leaf/gracie-fashion-check/ has the list of clothes that go with each category. Of course, I have NOTHING modern. Literally nothing. And I need clothes, shoes, and accessories.
I can pay well, and my native fruit is cherry so feel free to sell your fruit in my town as well!
Please, pleeeeease help me out. Shoot me a message and I’ll give you my info :)
limp bizkit’s ‘rollin’ has the line ‘ladies, fellas, and the people who don’t give a fuck’ and wow they were ahead of their time on gender
Language Maps of the US.
you wanna fight? alright let’s take this outside! the stars are so bright tonight. the moon looks so nice. hold my hand
“from failing, you learn. from success, not so much.”
I am going to say this again: YOU NEED TO WATCH MEET THE ROBINSONS IT IS THE MOST UNFAIRLY NEGLECTED MOVIE DISNEY EVER MADE
I love this movie so much… ;-;
You can be mature and respectful and still have a dirty sense of humour.
You can curse a lot and still be highly intelligent with a massive vocabulary.
You can be quiet and reserved and still be witty and even outgoing in certain circles.You can be intelligent and sharp-minded and still forget what month it is
you can dance if you wanna, you can leave your friends behind
parents when they can’t get a hold of you: “i called TWICE AND YOU DIDN’T PICK UP”
me when i can’t get a hold of my parents: “I BROKE MY LEG. I CALLED UR CELL 11 TIMES, UR WORK PHONE 7 TIMES, AND SENT YOU 23 TEXTS, AND NO RESPONSE”
my parents: “wow sorry i was busy”
"Too many books?" I believe the phrase you’re looking for is "not enough bookshelves".